Well, I was thinkin’ a lot lately, readin’ plurks, hearin’ conversations n stuff bout this, n then tonight while bein’ goofy n stuff it occured to me, well n sorta ’cause of stuff me n my sister ela were talkin’ bout too.
n anyway, i was tryin’ to think ’bout what makes people ‘cool’ or popular, ’cause i don’t think it’s the same to other people, like it is to me. see i’m really super shy n mostly i like’ta watch people, i spent my 1st year of SL as basically a prim baby that *could* move, but for the most part i didn’t because walkin’ looked funny, n i mostly just sat in my mommy at the time’s arms n listened n watched the world go by. n sadly enough i was ok with it for so long dat now it’s sorta like, awkward to speak to people, to make friends n kinda i wish i could just sit n listen n watch always, but i know i would feel even more left out den i already tend to.
So sometimes, I’ll be honest, I’m the kid runnin’ home to my sister or my daddy n sayin’ who i saw or talked to, n feelin’ a lil braggy ’bout it, but maybe not cause they are famous or well known, but ’cause to me they are someone who i’ve liked watched more den dat person could ever know or realize n i’ve seen qualities in dem, dat make dem someone i wanna know. Am I gunna sit here n list who i think is in dat category? Well sorry nope, ’cause dats just silly dis isn’t bout dat at all really, so do NOT come askin’ me ’bout it.
I guess when I think bout it, it’s just dat dose are people I admire, ’cause they have lotsa people around dem who seem to care, n i don’t really take notice when i’m surrounded by my own family n friends, cause in those moments i feel sorta ‘popular’ in my own right n not ina “Oh look at me i’m special!” but in a….”this is my safe place, they all know me here n it’s ok to be me here n not hold back”. but in da times when i can walk into a crowded place n not even feel noticed? yeah i sorta i guess can feel like, oh those are the popular kids ’cause they can go pretty much anywhere n know someone.
n maybe i would know more people, if i just talked more n spent less time starin’ at ’em from a distance yanno? but dat’s just me bein’ able to be very bluntly honest dat yes sometimes i’ma dork who doesn’t got a whole lot of self confidence so i tend to think people who can do cool stuff, make cool stuff, n have da ability to be liked by lotsa people, n who seem to just in general be someone who’s fun to be around, well ya i will get extra shy n feel like i’m not good enough to be round ’em, but dats not bout dem, it’s bout me n how i see myself, n somethin’ i prolly need to work on.
so maybe da other people who are like dat, who are like “oooo famous people!”, maybe dems like dat too i dunno, or maybe for dem it’s somethin’ totally different, but i like to fink maybe i’m not alone, n maybe other people can understand how dat is.
‘cept maybe i will just get lotsa people who don’t like what i gotta say ‘cept ha! dis my blog so ya’ i figure i’ma put my big mouthed opinions out der somewhere 😀